Is dating really biblical? How should Christians approach relationships before marriage? These are questions many young believers ask when they begin to think about love and commitment.
I once heard a young Christian girl share her struggle. She wanted to follow God, but she also wanted to know how to date in a way that honors Him. Her story is not unique many Christians today face the same questions about dating and courtship.
This guide on Christian advice for dating and courtship will walk you through what the Bible teaches, the difference between modern dating and biblical courtship, and how to build a relationship that puts God first. With simple steps, real examples, and Bible verses, we will explore how love and faith can walk hand in hand.
What Does the Bible Say About Dating and Courtship?
The Bible does not directly talk about “dating” the way we understand it today. Dating as we know it is a modern idea. But the Bible does give us timeless principles about how we should live in relationships with purity, love, faith, and commitment. These principles guide us so we can honor God even in this area of life.
2 Corinthians 6:14 –
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
➝ This verse reminds us that a Christian should seek a partner who also follows Christ.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 –
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
➝ God calls us to purity and self-control while we wait for marriage.
Proverbs 4:23 –
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
➝ This means protecting our emotions and being wise about whom we give our heart to.
Through these verses, we see that while the Bible does not use the word “dating,” it gives us clear guidance for building relationships that honor Him.
Difference Between Dating and Courtship
Dating, in the modern world, is often casual. People may date without thinking about long-term commitment, and sometimes without seeking God’s will.
Courtship, in the Christian sense, is very different. Courtship is marriage-focused, intentional, and covered in prayer. It is not just about spending time together but about preparing for a future together in God’s plan.
In short: Dating may be about fun, but Christian courtship is about purpose.
10 Biblical Rules for Christian Dating
Dating can feel confusing, but God’s Word gives us wisdom to walk in the right path. Here are ten biblical rules every Christian should remember when starting a relationship.
1. Put God First in the Relationship (Matthew 6:33)
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
A relationship is strongest when God is at the center. Both partners should seek Him daily through prayer and obedience.
2. Set Boundaries for Purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4)
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”
Purity protects love. Setting healthy boundaries helps honor God and each other.
3. Seek Godly Counsel (Proverbs 11:14)
“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.”
Talk with trusted pastors, mentors, or godly family members. Wise counsel can prevent painful mistakes.
4. Pray Together Regularly (Philippians 4:6)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Praying together keeps your relationship rooted in faith and invites God’s blessing over your journey.
5. Respect Each Other (Ephesians 5:25)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Respect and sacrificial love build trust. Treat each other with honor, patience, and kindness.
6. Avoid Unequal Yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14)
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”
A believer should seek a partner who shares the same faith, so the relationship grows in spiritual unity.
7. Be Honest and Transparent (Proverbs 12:22)
“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
Honesty is the foundation of trust. Be open about your intentions, struggles, and faith.
8. Guard Your Heart (Proverbs 4:23)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Don’t rush into emotions. Protect your heart by being wise and prayerful before committing deeply.
9. Practice Patience and Self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Patience shows maturity. Waiting on God’s timing is better than forcing things in a hurry.
10. Focus on Marriage as the Goal (Genesis 2:24)
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Dating should not be just for fun but should lead toward a Christ-centered marriage.
Christian Courtship – How Should It Be Done?
Christian courtship is different from casual dating. It is purposeful, prayerful, and marriage-minded. Instead of focusing only on feelings, it focuses on building a Christ-centered foundation for the future.
1. Involve Family and Church Guidance
Courtship is not a secret relationship. Involving parents, mentors, or church leaders brings accountability and wisdom. Their prayers and advice can help you avoid mistakes and strengthen your commitment.
2. Build Friendship Before Intimacy
A strong marriage begins with friendship. Spend time getting to know each other’s faith, values, and dreams before rushing into physical closeness. True love grows deeper when friendship comes first.
3. Keep Christ at the Center
Every step of courtship should point back to Christ. Pray together, study the Word, and ask God for direction. When Christ is at the center, the relationship will not only last but also glorify Him.
FAQs: About Christian Advice for Dating and Courtship:
What is the 3-3-3 Rule for Dating?
The 3-3-3 rule is a modern dating tip: have a 3-minute conversation, go on a 3-hour date, and then wait 3 days before following up. While it may sound helpful for casual dating, Christians are called to approach relationships differently. The Bible teaches us to be honest, intentional, and prayerful, not to play games with timing.
How Long Should Christian Courtship Last?
There is no set time for how long courtship should be. For some couples it may be a few months, for others it may take longer. What matters is spiritual maturity, readiness for marriage, and God’s guidance. Courtship should move at God’s pace, not the world’s pressure.
What Should Christians Avoid in Dating?
Christians should avoid temptation, secrecy, and rushing into intimacy. A relationship built on lies or physical desire alone will not last. Instead, couples should focus on trust, prayer, and keeping Christ at the center. Waiting on God’s timing brings true peace.
Christian Dating Advice for Young Adults
Dating as a Christian young adult can feel challenging in today’s world. But with God’s Word as your guide, you can build a relationship that is pure, strong, and filled with purpose.
1. How to Date as a Christian Woman
A Christian woman should date with prayer, patience, and clear standards. Modesty is not just about clothing, but about showing respect for herself and for God. She should seek a man who values her faith, prays with her, and honors her boundaries.
2. How to Date as a Christian Man
A Christian man is called to lead with love and responsibility. Dating is not about control but about showing Christ-like care. He should practice spiritual maturity, respect a woman’s boundaries, and keep marriage not casual fun as the end goal.
Intimacy in Christian Dating – What Does the Bible Say?
The Bible clearly teaches that intimacy belongs within marriage. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4). Similarly, “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) reminds us that physical intimacy before marriage goes against God’s design.
In Christian dating, emotional intimacy sharing thoughts, values, and faith is encouraged. It helps couples build trust and grow spiritually together. But physical intimacy should be reserved for marriage, where it can flourish under God’s blessing.
To stay pure, couples need healthy boundaries. This may include avoiding situations that lead to temptation, prioritizing group settings, and focusing on prayer and Bible study together. These steps protect the relationship and keep it Christ-centered.
Final Encouragement
Christian advice for dating and courtship teaches us that relationships are not just about finding the right partner but about growing together in Christ. When love is rooted in God’s Word and guided by His principles, it leads to a strong, pure, and God-honoring relationship. Following biblical guidance in dating and courtship prepares couples not only for marriage but for a lifetime of faith and blessing.
“Read these 25 powerful prayers to find a godly husband or wife, with Bible verses to guide your heart, strengthen your faith, and trust God’s timing in your relationship journey.”
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